As per...

Absolutely f**ked off,...again!

When you have so much hate and anger towards someone who you used to look up to and would die for; it just confuses and upsets me.

Why be such an idiot to someone you supposedly love, you'd do anything for and are dying and begging to get back with, it makes no sense what's so ever!?

Yes I get some of your logic and points you make in argument, yet you know I don't want you in my life as I have no trust for you and I cant bare for you to keep hurting me the way you do, so why keep telling me you love me, you'd do anything for me, you'd quit some of the biggest parts of your life and give up such important thing for me; when all you go and do is keep lying to me about the stupid little things, yet the things you know hurt me the most.

Yeah I get you cant wait for me to decide but if you truly loved me the way you say you do etc, why do all the bad things, why see these girls, message these girls, act like a completely different horrible slutty person in front of certain mates yet look like the perfect dad to all your colleagues and in front of all these girls?! 

I don't understand you, I don't like you, I want you out of my life as much as possible...

Please just stop hurting me

Imogen

Imogen Eloise is the single most important being to me and I love her more than I love anyone or anything else in existence!

I hope I can always provide her with everything she needs, not just material objects but to shower her with all my love; I want her to know that I have and always will be here for her no matter what.

She is my reason for breathing and she will never know how important she is to me...

I love you Imogen;

Lots of love,

Forever & Always

Mummy <3 

Tomorrows another day;

Time to blog; been thinking about this ALL week but finally got around to doing it;

Monday 11th June; 

I had my first ever job interview in the morning! Was scary, I was totally nervous and all those weird and silly mixed emotions you get before and after it taking place, I got a phone call middle of the afternoon,... I had only gone and got the job :) Over the moon wasn't even the phrase to describe how I felt after waiting so long for this job to come around

100% job pass rate right there haha

Its been a hectic month, I've finished college though which was a huge weight off my shoulders so I am ridiculously happy! I loved being at college, having the social side back, as a year off from education and having a baby turned me into one of those people who only speak in certain pitches and say silly words due to having a child, plus baby brain had set in BIG BIG time!

All I want to do now is PARTY HARD! 

I haven't had a proper night out since the 10th December; so am in desperate need to let my hair down!

Hopefully that night will be tomorrow :D 

Cannot wait - college girls and guys will see another side to me, well actually probably not, I was quite wild at college as it was easy just to be myself - which is always a bonus! ( spent too many years trying to fit in)

Been a weird day today, although I should be still on a high from getting this job, I've had to fork out money I don't have for an accident I had in the car last week, so that's a major downer.

Then I didn't have my little girl with me to cheer me up and have missed her as haven't seen her properly in a few days! 

For nearly 3 weeks now I've had this sorta skin irritation over the whole of my body, I went to the doctors after a week of it and trust me to go on a day where they only had a locum doctor in, anyway she said it was nothing. She sent me for blood tests in case I was celiac as of other stomach problems going on too but they have all come back clear.

I feel really down about it now as although it is as irritating as hell and all I wanna do 80% of the day is scratch, I've got scratch marks and cuts all over my body now :( 

I've bought creams, taken allergy tablets, but really need to book another appointment.

I 'googled' it and I haven't found anything that useful. It was just sudden and now its annoying!

 So anyway; it was throwing in down outside, it sounded awesome, had the window open a little, put on my comfy clothes and just had that feeling of loneliness, I just wanted to sit listening to the rain whilst cuddling up with my duvet and someone who adored me. I wanted to have lots of crappy food and just watch lots of films, fall asleep, wake back up, lie in the arms of someone who wanted just to hold me close. Soppy git and all but that's exactly how I felt. I hated it.

So yeah; tomorrows another day!